October 28th, 2009
|rsgamesmods||03:51 pm - Day 28 - Fic: Team AU: The Hour Between|
Team: Team AU
Title: The Hour Between
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst
Word Count: 15,020
Summary: If Dumbledore was right, then a Marauder was the spy and everything James loved was in danger. His decision to change secret keepers will affect the Marauders, his wife and child, and the world at large far more than he expected.
Author's Note: Thanks a billion to my dear friend and beta S.!
The Hour Between
Please Vote Below:
Was it truly AU or Canon Compliant? Please use the following: 2 for "yes", 1 for "sort-of", and 0 for "no"
How well did the author/artist use their Prompt? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)
How much did you like this story/art overall? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)
that was an amazing story, amazingly written. there were moments in which i hated remus and, yet, he because the most wonderful sort-of here. and the use of prompt and title theme (the hour between wolf and dog) was truly brilliant.
|Date:||January 23rd, 2010 11:04 pm (UTC)|| |
Thank you so much-- I appreciate it.
Yeah, I probably wouldn't have read this if the word count had been posted, but I'm pretty glad I did.
There were definitely a few things off about this. Mad point-of-view shifts throughout; occasional tense shifts; a few canon issues (one that really threw me off was the spelling of 'patronus' as 'protronus'). But mostly it was great. It's not often that I'm compelled to read fifteen thousand words in one sitting, but I honestly couldn't get up. The pacing was lovely, and I loved that the author told the story from beginning to end the way she did. It was a great story-telling experience. It got a little weak toward the end, which is easy to do when you're finishing a project this long, but the last scene was a nice way to wrap it up. Even then it could be expanded and improved, but there was an excellent sense of closure, despite the fact that the war was still ongoing.
My favorite scene was definitely the conversation between Lily and Remus in the cemetery - that was some great imagery, and Remus' despair and Lily's fragile hope were depicted so well.
Brava, anonymous author! This fic was lovely in so many ways.
You mentioned "canon issues," but we feel obliged to point out that this fic was from team au. It's an easy mistake to make and, should it have affected your voting, you can always go back and fix it. Also, the typo and lack of word count have been fixed. Thank you!
Oh, don't worry, the "issues" I was thinking of (which I can't remember now :|) were just things like the patronus misspelling; they in no way affected my vote in any instance, because they were just nit-picky.
Um, also, I know I left a crazy long comment, but I was thinking about this fic all during dinner, and I just wanted to say a big thank you for the Peter characterization. It was perfect. So many times people disregard the fact that the other Marauders prolly needed a reason to like and trust Peter in the first place. ALSO I want to gush a little bit more about the last scene, especially because Remus stays totally in character there - he's given in to the love thing, but he has to consciously relax into Sirius' arms, oh man, it was just excellent. Really, really well done.
(Sorry about the super long posts!)
|Date:||January 23rd, 2010 11:05 pm (UTC)|| |
Thanks so much for reading! I wanted a bastard Remus-- I think we glaze over how jaded he could have become. I wanted to focus my AU on that and on the view of gay relationships in the 1970-1980's.
|Date:||January 23rd, 2010 11:05 pm (UTC)|| |
Wow, very intense story. As someone else said above, you did a really nice job with Peter's characterization. I liked the section from his POV. And the moment where Remus kills him was chilling.
I honestly didn't like Remus much at all in the beginning of this, not so much because of the multiple partner thing but because of his cruelty to Sirius. His harsh characterization worked better for me as the fic went along, once he started turning it on Death Eaters. ;-) But seriously, I liked the moment where Lily thinks about how he's lost his innocence; that helped explain things a little.
Anyway, long comment is long. Nicely done, anon!
|Date:||January 23rd, 2010 11:06 pm (UTC)|| |
This was fascinating. I DO have to agree with the others that at first I hated Remus for the way he treated poor Sirius. There was the cheating thing, but I was more appalled by the things he SAID and the say he tried to negate the love that Sirius felt for him. But this was so skillfully written and brilliant that the Mystery Author totally used these feelings to his/her advantage by emphasizing the change that Remus underwent. I totally loved him by the end. Not only for his physical bravery, but for his emotional courage. I can so very much see this in Remus, too. He is too often portrayed as wimpy, but this is a much more viable take on protection from emotional vulnerability.
I must say that this fic was incredible. Thank you, Mystery Author.
PS I thought the POV changes worked very well. Rowling does that upon occasion, too.
|Date:||January 23rd, 2010 11:08 pm (UTC)|| |
Thanks so much... I really wanted a Remus that shows how strong he was in canon-- but the jaded variety. I'm glad you think it works.
I think this is lovely. So many reasons to love the story you decided to write, and others have said well what they've enjoyed.
One non-HP dependent thing I enjoyed as a reader/writer is that the dialogue and character observations drove the story, rather than excessive narrative prose, which puts unnecessary distance between the characters and the readers. Not easy to do. So, well handled technically, :D.
|Date:||January 23rd, 2010 11:09 pm (UTC)|| |
Wow-- thank you. It's always an honor to get a compliment from a favorite author. And, the dialogue is always my favorite bit to write; so much fun.
Oh, my. Well, thank you.
Writing stories as the one you did here are tough and this was a stand out for me near the fest's finale.
I'm still on the fence whether I liked this story or not. It was certainly interesting, and I was captivated enough to read the whole thing through, but whether I actually liked it is difficult to decide.
Fact of the matter is I'm never a big fan of over-whelming darkness, mostly because I deal with that sort of thing all the time lately (I work at a breast cancer organization... it gets rather depressing writing/translating obituaries). On the other hand, that darkness fit perfectly well with what war really is; how people lose their innocence, and how everything goes to shit, basically.
While I didn't like Remus at all (well, maybe a little when he went all 'avenger'), I can appreciate how well you wrote him, as well as all the other characters. Someone mentioned Peter, and I have to agree! It's always a shame when an author doesn't realize that Peter must have been a great friend before, and a good liar. He did manage to fool Dumbledore, after all.
Remus's relationship with Sirius really bothered me. I have a hard time believing that Remus would have strung him along for so long, and always treating him like dirt. Sirius is first and foremost Remus's friend, which is why I don't think he would have hurt him so much.
Now that my overly long comment is over, know that it was an interesting read, but I probably wouldn't read it again for fear it would cause an emotional breakdown. :q
|Date:||January 23rd, 2010 11:11 pm (UTC)|| |
I based this piece on reading the Donald Strachey mysteries-- set in the 1970's and 1980's by a gay man. The protagonist is in a commited relationship, but continues to enjoy the freedom that many gay men of the time did. I'm a woman; thus I view relationships through that female desire. I wanted something nasty, dark, and boyish-- a male romance. There is another bit of draft that my beta and I removed, showing that Remus' childhood roughed up his view of love. We felt it weighted the piece down however.
Thanks for reading, even if you're not sure you enjoyed it.
This is riveting! As you might imagine, this was a difficult fic for me, Remus J. Lupin's biggest fan. But you wrote a convincing Remus as the world's biggest bastard. And as we got more into the dirty realities of the war they were waging, your characterization made more sense. Especially when Remus went after Sirius. I am a sucker for Remus as a bad ass. And I appreciate that you didn't make the ending too simple or rosy.
|Date:||January 23rd, 2010 11:13 pm (UTC)|| |
I think this piece reflects a lot of my research-- and where I am in my life right now. I think that R/S gets so happy flowers and hearts too often, but in canon-- they hated each other when they suspected one another. It's hard for me to ignore the fact that Sirius believed Remus could have been heartless enough to sell out James and Lily... I wanted to portray that possible side of Remus.
Absolutely fabulous. I love how you took canon events, expanded on them and twisted them just a bit, and the pups' relationship was intriguing and made me all achy. Wonderful.
|Date:||January 23rd, 2010 11:13 pm (UTC)|| |
|Date:||February 12th, 2010 09:49 am (UTC)|| |
I did almost all my Potterverse reading before Deathly Hallows came out, so these days, as I'm lurking around again, I feel lost not knowing who the new authors are.
I think I came across this fic at a Accio R/S fics. I love the AU genre, so that, and the description of the fic got me to open this.
I was a bit taken aback at the beginning by your version of Remus. I've decided now that I like it, as an AU anyway.
Not many authors try to portray Remus and Sirius as affected by the gay scene of the times. I've always wanted a story that would feature the tenor of the mid 70's to early 80's. I'm around Remus' age, and I remember those years very well. Remus' attitude towards monogamy and relationships would have been acceptable and fairly common in many parts of the gay community.
Your AU!Remus seems colder and harder than canon!Remus, but it works very well when Remus accepts that he loves Sirius and aims his anger at the enemy.
When I decided to read this story (I have four other story tabs open now) it was because the person requesting the link mentioned that Remus kills Peter. Now, I realize that you can't put that in the summary, but you might want to indicate in the summary, that the story is Remus-centric (for your future readers). Now, it just mentions James and Dumbledore, who only have minor parts.