November 5th, 2011
|rsgamesmods||06:38 am - Day 36 – Fic: Team Sirius: The Northern Line|
Title: The Northern Line
fantasies daydreams, a few swear words, and the vulgarities that come with boy culture.
Word Count: ~25,000
Summary: Every morning before work, Sirius dodges his mother's barbs, runs the family business, sorts his brother's blunders, and trades insults with his best friend. He also falls in love.
Notes: Liberties taken with the profession of corporate raider, the London Underground, the area of Angel, Islington; the details about the shops are a mix of fact and pure fiction. This is a non-magical AU set in the year 2014. Muchas, muchas gracias to my beta A. Also, many thanks to the mods for putting on another fantastic R/S Games. You guys are the best.
The Northern Line
Please Vote Below:
Is the Team Character (Sirius for Team Sirius and Remus for Team Remus) most prominently featured? Yes/No vote ("yes" is worth 2 points, "no" is worth 0)
How well did the author use their Prompt? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)
How much did you like this story/art overall? 1 to 9 (1 being the least)
Well! As someone who has spent the past 2.5 years commuting on that exact section of that exact branch of the Northern Line, I have to say you did a pretty more-than-decent job. :D
Oh the UST, I loved this, and the personal journey, and how Sirius grows up, just a little, and just right. Thank you for this story! I'll be reading it again.
I am so thrilled to hear you say that! I did so much research! A mutual friend of ours spilled all about her trip to London and that really helped a ton, as well.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. This was definitely an UST story. I wanted to leave where they went from the bookshop open because the challenge wasn't about the destination, but the journey. This is a getting together fic so I purposefully left it right at the point where they would hook up.
I needed a little more meat than just getting together, though. If characters aren't flawed, don't make mistakes, they aren't as interesting. I'm happy to hear you were onboard for the personal journey as well.
Thanks for taking the time to comment. I always appreciate your thoughts!
I think this might be my favorite fic I've read so far in the games... Loved the build-up, the sarcasm. Plus I've been on that line as well, so it was fun to be able to picture the whole thing in my head. Fantastic work, I'd love to read more of your fics.
Thank you! That is quite a compliment given the company my little story is keeping. I am also thrilled that you were able to picture it in your mind. I've never been to London, am an American, and put the pieces together from personal accounts and tons of research. To hear you say that makes me so happy!
Thank you for taking the time to comment! It is much appreciated!
this was really darling on every level. i really loved it. oddly i found myself so lost in the story that i almost forgot it was remus and sirius. i didn't really care either because the story was so good.
you are a very talented writer, mystery author, and i loved how funny this is. it was witty and felt very british. i can tell that you really are british and that made this all the more fun. i like fics that feel very authentic in that way.
sirius's character was really cool too. he felt like he would have in cannon had he gotten the chance. you write him as a real person who never had to go through the pain of betrayal and prison and that really works to make a good story. you seem to have a knack for portraying sirius as he really is without the pain.
Well, does British by way of Texas count? Sorry, not a Brit, just a research hound, but when I read that you thought I was British I was just thrilled. That is huge compliment for me as an American fanfic author writing in a British fandom.
I really just adore Sirius and I find myself writing AUs quite often because I do want to help him escape the pain of betrayal and avoid prison. I'm so glad it all worked for you.
Thank you for taking the time comment. It is much appreciated!
I loved this immensely. The first half of the story especially, that takes place all on the train with a lot of information through phone calls. All those glances and blushes and small flirtations and Sirius trying to figure Remus out. And, then, with the stalking! But Remus does like to be wooed, otherwise he would have gotten Sirius' number from Lily. So many great details in the story. I didn't want it to end. It is going in my bookmarks.
The story was great fun to write because of the phone calls. I had so much fun with that, you have no idea. I'm really glad to hear that you enjoyed it so much!
Thank you for taking the time to comment!
Aww, this is adorable! I thoroughly loved your Remus! I loved the way Sirius was flirting and giving out information about himself, while he was on the phone :D Good job!
Aw, thank you. Sirius is a total flirt. I don't think he can help himself, and that lack of self-consciousness, like he owns the world and doesn't care who is listening is just how I see him. Glad it worked for you and that you enjoyed it.
Thank you for taking the time to comment!
I love the Black family. It isn't often I get to incorporate them into a story and I jumped at the chance here. AUs are fun because you can take a framework and build around and within it, but it can be a tricky sell because it isn't remotely canon.
Sirius and Harry make me so happy. They should have had more time together. He would have been the perfect good/bad influence in all the wonderful ways.
Man, I love a hard-ass Lily. I like her strong and slightly terrifying while also loving and understanding. And James is just a goof in my world, he is so much fun to play around with.
I'm glad you liked Remus, that is good to hear. It wasn't his story and Sirius' head is so full of so much that I was worried I wasn't showing enough of Remus or that his personality wouldn't get through.
Thank you for taking the time to comment!
You really managed to use all the characters and transport them to this new scenario really well. And I thought Sirius was brilliantly portrayed, and couldn't help but coo at how cute Harry was. Great work!
Thank you! I'm delighted to hear that this worked for you! AUs can be tough sell so that is really good to hear. I adore Sirius and I'm so glad you liked him here!
Thank you for taking the time to comment!
YAY! One word: Awesome! It's my favorite R/S games fic so far. I laughed so hard! Sirius' chase after Lupin was really entertaining, but the other, more emotional side of the story, was equally brilliant. I absolutely loved every single word.
# Sirius' relationship with his mother and their conversations were BRILLIANT. Love their black humour, sharp tonugues, sarcasm and witty comments.
"I really should take you out of doors more often, but I fear you'll burst into flames in the sunlight." ~HiLaRiOuS~!
# Padfoot as Wookie!
# Stalker!Sirius is delicious
# I really. really, really loved Remus' dark secret - one of the most interesting ideas in mon-magic AUs (believe me, I've read a lot!)
# Somalian Pirates - I just died!
You made my day, Mystery Author. A month even! It was sheer pleasure to read your work. THANK YOU!
That is quite a compliment! Thank you so much!
I love to hear that the humor worked for you. I know it was black and sometimes that doesn't quite come across the way it should. I love to contemplate Sirius' relationship with his mother but rarely get a chance to write it. I think it would be complex and layered and that can be difficult to portray especially when it isn't the main event in a fic. The humor was great fun to write and was also a device to try and show the complexity in their relationship.
With Remus' dark secret I needed it to be personal, private, but not too devastating, in that he survived it and perseveres. Something that he wouldn't want just anyone knowing and that the long term effects are still with him for the time being, in this case difficulty finding work and having to take what he could and hope for the best. I like to keep the class differences between Sirius and Remus in my fics because I'm a sucker for that whole star-crossed lovers thing. ;)
Thank you taking the time to comment! It is much appreciated.
There NEEDS to be MORE!!!
Well... okay, the challenge was the journey, not the destination, right? So, I was trying to keep with the spirit of that but not quite reaching the point where they get together.
I don't know if I can promise more or not but it is an intriguing idea. I'll give it some thought. I'm flattered you like it well enough to want more.
Thank you for commenting.
Oh there are just no words for how much I loved this story. I have been *so* looking forwards to reading it and it did not disappoint. Not one bit.
I could be here all night telling you all the things I loved about this. Your writing is beautiful; the way you used certain phrases was actually delicious. Sirius was quirky and hectic but so convincing. You could really feel his confusion all the way through and he really did grow throughout the story. The twists and turns of this story were fantastic, I loved how it all wove together slowly and by the end, I was just gagging for them to get together. You fall into this story and then it plunges ahead and doesn't stop until the end... I was knocked speechless several times and also cracking up laughing several other times.
There was this delightful sarcasm throughout that made Sirius seem so very, very British to me and made the story amusing at the same time as poignant.
AHHH I must stop because otherwise I never will. LOVED THIS, it is an instant favorite and it is going in my bookmarks immediately.
My one and only wish is that they got a kiss in the end... but there was so much promise in that ending that I have allowed myself to spin out a whole happy ending for them and poor old Padfoot.
I adored it, in case you couldn't tell. Absolutely adored it.
I very much like this fanfiction and I find your writing to be very mature and sophisticated. The story itself was most fascinating but the real love came in the way that you created dear Sirius. His plight felt very real and his conversations with his family were quite amusing. He was very witty and very British. That was very much appreciated.
... what is a peach quesdailla?! Like... peaches and cheese?
I loved how the first half took place between phone calls and train stops, and just watching the potential relationship growing between them. I especially loved the calls with his mother and with James (and then when James was imitating his mother).
What a wonderful story. I loved Sirius' description of Remus in the beginning and I think Sirius' conversation during dinner about Remus being kidnapped by pirates is one of the funniest scenes I have ever read. The phone calls were a terrific idea. Great, great story.
This was hilarious and witty and fun, and done so very, very well. The phone calls, Sirius nt knowing if he knows Remus' name or not was both funny but telling of his approach to life whilst working for his family.
I love how you dealt with Sirius' guilt over inviting himself in stalker style to Remus' secret. Haha stalker!Sirius getting a dog just because he knew it was Remus' favourite, absolute gold and all that slobber was hopefully worth it for Sirius in the end ;)
Lily and James felt so well formed in this and I just loved them so much.
I've been waiting for this ever since we got a little taste on the Team site and I am so far from disappointed i is ridiculous. <3
I adored this. ♥ witty and snarky Sirius navigating the minefield that is his family - oh, I wish we could've seen more Sirius/Regulust interaction because those two were *precious*. Remus' and Sirius' short moments on the tube together were great, too. So much was communicated between them with just a look or a smile. Sirius' growing up a bit and changing his life was great; his subsequent confusion and not!dealing with thing was very well done. I had to laugh at the poor man and his stalkerish behaviour (Padfoot <3).
I really enjoyed this a lot! I love all the interactions on the tube and the way this story was constructed. The banter between all characters was spot on and lovely. Also, I loved that Sirius had love for his family despite their problems. ♥ You did an excellent job of humanizing the Blacks. Well done! :D
Lovely, sexy build up. Gorgeous!
This was delightful! I enjoyed being along with Sirius as he took the long road to a relationship with Remus. :-)
This story is awesome. I dont have the time to leave a better comments but I do need to check out the rest of your work!!!